How Dangerous Men control women #4
A series for women concerned about safety.
#4. Why bars are full of loan sharks. (loan shark)
Men attempt to control women by offering their services and having you feel beholden to them. "Let me help you put those groceries in your car", "let me buy you a drink", "I'll file those reports for you so you can go home early"...
If you haven't solicited any need for anything and a stranger (or not) approaches you and does something for you that you haven't requested then odds are that person is attempting to control you by making you feel in debt. The payback is usually not what you had in mind.
How many bars have you been in where a man offers to buy you a drink? Can you honestly say you had no idea that he was doing this as a way of giving you something and that you will feel obligated to give something in return? Loan Sharks are everywhere. It can seem innocuous, small and insignificant yet if it anchors an entry into your world it has achieved its goals.
Be aware of this technique as its always manipulative. Again "why is this person trying to control me?”.
If you ever feel uncomfortable with a mans approach (this goes in social settings, business settings and sales solicitations), hold your hand up and simply say “please, I’m not interested". By being welcoming it raises his expectations of you, increases his investment, and gives him further insight into controlling you.
Bottom line: unless you are open eyed and interested in what a person has to offer, he is wasting your time or worse, you could be putting your life at risk.
This is #4 in a series of Five
How dangerous men control women series: