How Dangerous Men control women #3
A series for women concerned about safety.
#3 Why men want to be on your team (forced teaming)
When people share a common situation it's easier to move beyond social boundaries. The detectable signal of forced teaming is the assumption of a shared purpose or goal where none really exists. If you hear a man say "The two of us", "how are we going to handle this?", "boy are we in trouble now", "I guess if we are going to make that train on time I better help you with your luggage". Sounds innocuous yet this man is deliberately attempting to gain your trust by being on your "team". While it may seem rude to respond "I don't want your help thank you, I didn't request it", you have every right and duty to stop the intrusion into your space.
Of particular concern would be a man using forced teaming when you are in a vulnerable situation (alone, in a remote area). This is always inappropriate. This is not about partnership or coincidence, it is about establishing communication and you have to ask yourself "why" is this man trying to gain my trust, why is he doing this?
Building communication when it is not requested can be considered rude and it is self serving (think of a sales ploy). Do not consider yourself rude by stopping unwanted communication. This can save your life.
Be aware of this technique as its always manipulative. Again "why is this person trying to control me?”.
If you ever feel uncomfortable with a mans approach (this goes in social settings, business settings and sales solicitations), hold your hand up and simply say “please, I’m not interested". By being welcoming it raises his expectations of you, increases his investment, and gives him further insight into controlling you.
Bottom line: unless you are open eyed and interested in what a person has to offer, he is wasting your time or worse, you could be putting your life at risk.
This is #3 in a series of Five
How dangerous men control women series:
- Why charming men are dangerous to women. (charm)
- Why men try to offend women (type casting)
- Why men want to be on your team (forced teaming)
- Why bars are full of loan sharks. (loan shark)
- Why TMI can put you in danger. (tmi)
- Unsolicited Promise
- Discounting the word “no”.